I remember when my dear friend in college, was told by her professor, that she was such an oxymoron. What a compliment, right? I mulled over that for years, thinking what that really meant.
I know now, that I want to raise the Oxymoron child. What follows is the perfect Oxymoron-Parent relationship, one that does not exist in real life, but for which I make my goals and dream my ideals.
The Oxymoron Child, first learns to follow. They learn to follow their parents, so they can expertly follow the Savior and the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
The parent of an oxymoron child, must hold strong and be consistent. They know they can give their child first, no better gift than the ability to obey. They do not tire or let down in their important authority and stewardship, but consistently provide a leadership where in the child feels safe and knows that ultimately their care rests in safe and good hands that will lead them right. They do feel the important boundaries a parent sets, and know that the parent is stronger just as we know God is stronger than us. The oxymoron parent continues to study ponder pray and pour over literature that will help them gently but strongly lead their child in helping them learn through trial and error, the importance of obedience. The oxymoron parent knows that a child who can establish boring but continual habits will be one who will be able to face dirty diapers, daily dishes, hungry mouths, unhappy benefactors, and pressing bills to pay, with a mainly happy, humble and fresh spirit. So this parent teaches the child how to make daily consistent habits and choices as the parent assists in structuring their days with such paralleling learning opportunities. And this parent teaches obedience by example. They obey the holy spirit and discuss these inconvenient promptings they have followed. Their children see them serving others by sacrifice, they hear their parents discuss the happiness and peace felt by obeying the Lord. Parents of oxymoron children are respectful and kind to church authority though that parent can’t always see the wisdom and foresight of those imperfect vessels leading them, but know that their obedience with faith will pattern obedience with faith for their children who are also being taught by imperfect vessels. The oxymoron parent teaches their child, that they can follow because they’ve learned to always ask God first, and he confirms all righteous leadership. The oxymoron parent admits to being wrong, and asks forgiveness.
But the Oxymoron child, is no blind sheep. They also have learned to ask God for a confirmation of all things their parents have taught them, and because of this, their fire comes firsthand. This child knows when its time to lead, and can do it easily for they have developed their truest inner talents and their most important audience is God and the angels, and so this child has courage, grit, and determination to lead others aright. This oxymoron child is inventive and creative, and good at what he or she does, because this child has been able to think and lead for themselves, each day. This child will add freshness and solutions to the world around them. The oxymoron child has enough self stability to be kind to everyone. They have created a better place through their childhood, by the touches they add to the life around them, and this continues into their adulthood. The oxymoron leader-child, is also a co-leader, and allows others to shine when it is not their turn to play their part. They wait for their own lines in the play of life, so to speak.
The oxymoron parent, knows their child was molded in God’s eternal kiln for the final last days before Christ. They see their child’s strengths, and provide time, space and opportunity for their children to develop, to explore, to practice, to make errors, to succeed and to learn. This parent shows the child how wonderful learning is by learning themselves. This parent prods their child to think for themselves and guides them to answers without micromanaging every step of their journeys. The oxymoron parent, always teaches their child to ask God.
In the perfect Oxymoron Parent-Child relationship, the hearer and the speaker continue to learn together. None is better than the other, but each assume the special role God has given them, as parent, and as Child.
I remember foremost as an Oxymoron parent, that first one must learn to follow before they can perfectly lead. I must learn to perfectly follow the Lord for my leadership to progress, and so the upward trending cycle goes.